I’m Not Feeling You

Lou Pearlman invented The Backstreet Boys and N’Sync and then got sued by both and now he’s going to jail for 25 years. Or something. I can’t really bothered with the details of this when there’s so much R. Kelly trial to think about.

I will say this though: Saltz’s immutable law #373 states clearly that any white man over 17 whose colored sunglass lenses match the color of his shirt is, has been, or will be, serving jail time. That’s just the rule.