I’m Not Feeling You

This year I’m thankful for the triumph of economic anxiety over racism in American politics and that I won’t be anywhere near the parade tomorrow. See you Monday turkeys…

The end of an era is has arrived, Alan Colmes is leaving Hannity & Colmes. Am I wrong to hate Colmes more than Hannity? No, of course I’m not.

Technically it’s a pitch corrector but seriously, guys, enough with the Robot voice. It’s like you’ve all been wearing Bape so long you forgot you’re not 12. Have you heard the new Kanye album? I’m already embarrassed about how embarrassed he’s going to be of himself in like six months. Lil’ Wayne gets a pass though. Why? Cause he’s so sweet he makes me want to lick the rapper. No homo. A lil’ homo.

Just kidding. I literally could not possibly care less.

We all thought you might be dead or infirm, but state media reports you’re touring a soap factory today so… whewww. Crisis averted.

Hey, wouldn’t it be ironic if he was dead and that was Elvis standing in for him?

Also, nice outfit. Coming soon! A brand new INFY feature: Hipster or Kim Jong Il? (Hint