I’m NOT Not Feeling You Jonathan Richman
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Archive for April, 2009
I’m Not Feeling You Presents: That’s Koreazy
You know who hates moths? Korean kids. Like jump out of their seats, run around screaming, wave their hands in the air, monkey-spaz hate. Like, whoa guys sack-up, hate. Anyway, fine, you hate moths, that’s annoying and stupid, but fine. Except. Except! Except you guys eat the shit out of some bundaegi (silkworm larvae)… which are fucking moth babies (or cocoons, but whatever)…
…and I’m sure they’re delicious, but guys, you can eat eggs, or you can scream like a little bitch every time you see a chicken, but you can’t do both.
I’m Not Feeling You Dying Bea Arthur
I tried to find a recording or video of her singing Barbara Song from “Threepenny Opera” to stream, cause that’s my jam, but I couldn’t find one, so here’s a scene from the lesbian episode of the Golden Girls. How fucking good and ahead of it’s time was the Golden Girls? A lot fucking good and ahead of it’s time. Also, go onto YouTube and read some of the chatter about Bea Arthur… really… it will make you more hopeful about the state of humanity.
I’m Not Feeling Your Korean Paw Food
After close to two months in Korea, I’m proud to call myself bilingual, being that I’m now fluent in both English and Teacher. So, when I’m finishing class and my first-graders hand me, say, a half-eaten crap Korean cookie and a gumdrop, I’m now able to answer them in Teacher and say, “thanks, I’ll eat that later.” Which, you could roughly translates into English as, “I will never eat that. In fact, I resent having to hold these items until you’re out of site. I’ve spent the last forty minutes watching your damp little paws, and not only were you wrist-deep into both nostrils, at the same time, but I’m at least 86% sure that at least one of your fingers has been inside your butt since we started this whole cookie conversation. Did you just lick your hand? If this were Medieval times and I was laying seige to a castle, I would catipult you over the wall with instructions to hand out gumdrops and cookies to everyone you saw, wait until the enemy guards died of plague, and crown myself your king… king of the butt-finger lickers.”