If my years with Hamilton have taught me anything, it’s what a dog looks like with its nose bitten off. Sorry Gawker, that’s a fucking dog. In fact, here’s a list of things that it could be in order of likelihood.
1.Dog
2. Guy in a dog suit
3. Several small dogs piled together to look like a larger dog that looks like a monster
4. Raccoon
5. A different dog from the dog I first thought it was
6. Pig
7. Dog
8. Dog
9. Dog
10. Monster Dog
This is my dog, Hamilton, who I’m not feeling. As you can see he is more dog than weapon and more semi-vegetative sloth than dog. I’m sorry those other dogs hurt those other people, but Peter Vallone, if you try to take him from me I will bite you in the face with my teeth.
Fuck BSL. Breed Specific Legislation is Bull Shit Legislation.
And Pit Bull people are crazy.
I did some research, and the back story goes: So this Montana couple are out hiking with their dogs and their… mule (?!) and the dogs get attacked by a mountain lion. Luckily the mule gallops in to save the day.
Dog 1: So… should we get in there?
Dog 2: In where?
Dog 1: …
Dog 2: Ohhhhhh… Nah, he looks like he’s got it pretty much under control…
Dog 1: …At this point we’d probably just get in the way.
Dog 2: Totally. We could have taken that mountain lion though.
Dog 1: Totally.
*That’s not true, if this were my life, Hamilton would have probably attacked the mule.
“Mule vs. Mountain Lion” if you had to bet, you’d say Mountain Lion right? I would. If betting on random animal match-ups were legal I could never afford to send my babies to college.
I circled the mountain lion in red because he kind of blends into the background here, which you’d think would be an advantage. Fucking mountain lion.