I’m Not Feeling You

Go look at this, and make sure you scroll through all the pictures. I don’t know who did this or why, but I think it might be one of my top five favorite things I’ve ever seen on the internet. Because like, I get how you’d get that first picture of Christian Bale and want to find a picture of Kermit the frog that matches up with it (no I don’t). I even get trying to find two matches, or five,  but what keeps me up at night is like, there’s fifty of them. How did he (or she) know to keep looking? Like when I had found twelve pictures of Christian Bale that looked like 12 pictures of Kermit the Frog, I would of been like, “wow, I can’t believe I found that many pictures of Christian Bale that had corresponding pictures of Kermit the Frog to go with them.” Not this guy. This guy was like, “Oh 12, I would imagine I’m about a quarter of the way through this whole Christian Bale/Kermit the Frog project I’ve undertaken for no reason.” Do you see how insane that is? You do right?

You know that college friend you had who went to South America for their Junior year and when they came back you couldn’t talk to them anymore because they all they wanted to do was go to study-groups, talk about cholera, and make you feel bad about how selfish you are?  Well Bill gates is like that now, except he’s a billionaire, so instead of making other billionaires feel bad for being selfish and not donating enough to malaria, he apparently unleashes swarms of mosquitos on them at tech conferences.

Sheep 1: So… What did you think of Benjamin Button?

Sheep 2: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHD

Having brought down that plane, it’s time to start rounding those bitches up. The Daily News says “Pluck ‘Em”, I say let’s water-board ’till they talk, no, not water board, force-feed them grain until they’re cooperative and delicious.