I’m Not Feeling You

Am I going to be saying, “Fuck what your mama say, I’ma vote Obama way” in my head until I stab myself in the eye? Yeah, I am.

Now, if you will excuse me, I’d like to take a moment to address L.A.:

Dear L.A.,

Just so you know, when you wonder why we hate you, it’s because of this video. This video is what you look like to us all the time. Also, thanks for ruining Obama AND The Isley Brothers sample from Ice Cube’s “It Was a Good Day.” Those were two of the like three things I like. Dicks.

Thanks,

Sam

One way to discourage people from climbing up the sides of your brand new skyscraper is to not make it out of ladders.

I can’t stop talking about how much I love the new Nas song, and not just cause calling Eminem “My Nigger Wigger Cracker Friend” might be the funniest/weirdest/most profound combination of words and ideas ever. I don’t really feel like I’m fit to speak on whether it’s a positive thing to name your record N*gger, and “Nas” is a fine title, but it hurts the soul to read that God’s Son caved in Entertainment fucking Weekly.

I think this is probably not a good idea, unless it cures all kinds of diseases, or someone wants to make me a lady-horse. I think I would like a lady-horse.

New York has an underground burlesque scene!

Here’s a chart I made tracing the dissemination and adoption of cultural trends in New York:

Artists/performers–> Risk Takers –> Trend Setters –> College Kids –> People Younger Than Me at Work –> Me –> My Little Sister –> Time Out New York –> My Mom and Other Grown Ups –> The New Yorker –> College Professors –> Hobos –> College Kids (but Ironically) –> Presidential Candidates –> Hermets/Shut-ins/Assorted Wildmen –>  College Kids (but Earnestly Again) –>  People Waking Up from 1-3 Year Long Comas –> My Nanna –> The New York Times