I’m Not Feeling You

Look at that fucking pig-licker. If he had a really sweet cell phone and wasn’t blond I’d assume he was one of my students.

Not to harp, but I could cure swine flu tomorrow. It’s a secret, but here’s a hint: it’s the opposite of Logan’s Run.

Someone sent me this today, and it’s amazing. But apparently it’s all over the Internet and there’s like YouTube remixes of it and stuff.  What’s up? Do you guys hate me or something? Where you at?

Ew.

Call it a big baby boom: the octuplets born to a Southern California woman all arrived in a frantic five-minute span.

That’s one baby about every 36 seconds.

… every one of them under three pounds. By “woman”, they mean “Goldendoodle.”

Sure, times are tough, but at least the weather’s nice the economy’s going to be OK the Christian Right’s been booted out of Washington there’s some holiday spirit left in this country the bad guys get what they deserve there haven’t been any terrorist attacks recently I don’t have a tiny foot growing inside my head.

Check out the video.