I know he won the Nobel Peace Price like 15 years ago, and he’s 90, and also, like the most adorable man in the world, but I just don’t trust that guy. Maybe we should give it just one more year.

Seriously, the Terrorism Watch List is like Osama bin Laden, Nelson Mandela, Cat Stevens, Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show, and the Soup Nazi. I think it’s time to consider revising.

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If Woody Allen and E.T. had a baby it would be really fucking long and boring.

One nice thing about the Clinton’s was that you knew when they said stuff like this, they were just saying it to get elected. Sometimes honesty and ethics are a little scary.

Also, as a former worker in the internet marketing field, I’m pretty sure, and it’s a lot more likely that, your shit got taken down because you don’t know how to use the internet and you sent too many annoying emails, not because some Obama supporters flagged your blog as spam. You only think that because you want to think that.

Here’s somethings I’ve never said:

“____ is so much cooler when he’s done a bunch of Cocaine.”

“I really like ____, except when he’s not on Cocaine.”

“She’s so much better in bed when she’s done a whole shit load of Cocaine”