Yeah… I mean obviously this was going to happen… but still
Also, if you’re like me, a lot of times things happen and you think to myself, “well, yes, but what does Nelly have to say about all of this?” So here you go:
New York has an underground burlesque scene!
Here’s a chart I made tracing the dissemination and adoption of cultural trends in New York:
Artists/performers–> Risk Takers –> Trend Setters –> College Kids –> People Younger Than Me at Work –> Me –> My Little Sister –> Time Out New York –> My Mom and Other Grown Ups –> The New Yorker –> College Professors –> Hobos –> College Kids (but Ironically) –> Presidential Candidates –> Hermets/Shut-ins/Assorted Wildmen –> College Kids (but Earnestly Again) –> People Waking Up from 1-3 Year Long Comas –> My Nanna –> The New York Times
I’m glad America’s Next Top Model is “breaking the mold” or whatever, but they should change “Plus Sized Model” to something less demeaning like, “Looks Hot in Shorts Model” or “Makes My Pants Hurt Model.”
Now, if you all don’t mind, I’d like to take a moment to address my Mom:
Dear Mom,
I know you read this sometimes, and that’s why I’m dedicating this post, and the phrase “Makes my pants hurt” to you. Think of it as a belated Mother’s Day Gift.
Love,
Sam
In the last 2 years or so, Foxy Brown has been arrested twice, beaten up her manicurist, beaten up her neighbor with a blackberry, been beaten up by female rapper Remy Ma, been beaten up by female rapper Jackie O, gone deaf, had surgery and gone undeaf and spent seven months in prison. She’s like the Wile E. Coyote of female rappers. Except I don’t think Wile E. ever woke up saying to himself, “Hey, you know what goes great with fur? A bikini.”
This is one of those rare cases where whether or not it’s meant to be ironic I hate him the same.
If you’ve ever wondered why everyone hates us, it’s because of this guy.