This is my dog, Hamilton, who I’m not feeling. As you can see he is more dog than weapon and more semi-vegetative sloth than dog. I’m sorry those other dogs hurt those other people, but Peter Vallone, if you try to take him from me I will bite you in the face with my teeth.
Fuck BSL. Breed Specific Legislation is Bull Shit Legislation.
And Pit Bull people are crazy.
Dear Professor Dog Face,
Riddle me this: If your sense of smell is 100x better than mine, how come you’re not dead from your own farts?
Here’s what I would say if I ran into my dog at a cocktail party:
Oh, hey! How are you? Remind me what is it you do again? Wait, you don’t do anything? Oh I see, you don’t do anything except fart and shed and cry and sometimes bite the guests? That’s cool.
By the way, I hear you’re doing an awesome job not scaring away the mice in my apartment. I should get a cat. Except you’d kill it. With your teeth. Asshole