I’m Not Feeling You

Me: OffToAFuckedUpStartAlreadySays, “I already suck”?

2009: I already suck

Me: Exactly

Me: IfYouKeepThisUpI’mGoingToStapleADryerSheetToYourAssholeSays: Oops I farted again

Hamilton: Oops I farted again

Me: Exactly

If my years with Hamilton have taught me anything, it’s what a dog looks like with its nose bitten off. Sorry Gawker, that’s a fucking dog. In fact, here’s a list of things that it could be in order of likelihood.

1.Dog

2. Guy in a dog suit

3. Several small dogs piled together to look like a larger dog that looks like a monster

4. Raccoon

5. A different dog from the dog I first thought it was

6. Pig

7. Dog

8. Dog

9. Dog

10. Monster Dog

This is my dog, Hamilton, who I’m not feeling. As you can see he is more dog than weapon and more semi-vegetative sloth than dog. I’m sorry those other dogs hurt those other people, but Peter Vallone, if you try to take him from me I will bite you in the face with my teeth.

Fuck BSL. Breed Specific Legislation is Bull Shit Legislation.

And Pit Bull people are crazy.