That will be the best looking family that’s ever been in the White House. I want to elect all four of them president. Can we do that? Also, check this out, even if you’re at work, it doesn’t require sound…
I know! Right? Wins the nomination, and… pound! Do you think they give each other a pound after they do it? I bet they do. I just love them so much.
Finally.
I don’t care. Be Vice President. Just stop. Really, he should make her Secretary of State, but whatever. As long as she (really) stops.
And now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a moment to address Tori Donna:
Dearest Darling Donna,
During these long years, my love, I have felt the space between us as if it were greater than the wide, flat, plane that makes the chasm-like distance between your blue eyes. Too many times to count I have longed to see your great cow’s head graze across the flickering field of my TV screen again. My heart, made lighter than even your inheritance, beats louder than the Peach Pit After Dark at the news of your return.
Love,
Sam
If they can have their crazy “dream ticket” I can have mine. Seriously though, I believe in an America where the president knows all the lyrics to Reasonable Doubt.
I know you’re not a superdelegate or anything, but still, we appreciate it.