A) Because he brought 35 articles of impeachment against President Bush last night
B) Because he spent 4 hours and 40 minutes reading them all outloud on the floor of Congress
C) Ride on you elvin fist of vengence
The answer is “C”
Fine, endorse McCain (it’ll probably help Obama win), but John Hagee…? Tell the truth, did you trade your soul for those extra skin folds?
That will be the best looking family that’s ever been in the White House. I want to elect all four of them president. Can we do that? Also, check this out, even if you’re at work, it doesn’t require sound…
I know! Right? Wins the nomination, and… pound! Do you think they give each other a pound after they do it? I bet they do. I just love them so much.
I’m not sure about the legality of the whole mess, but, according to my calculations, this can’t be a good thing.
Sometimes though, I like to imagine that instead of having really weird hair, all these women have normal hair and really weird shaped heads.
And now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a moment to address Tori Donna:
Dearest Darling Donna,
During these long years, my love, I have felt the space between us as if it were greater than the wide, flat, plane that makes the chasm-like distance between your blue eyes. Too many times to count I have longed to see your great cow’s head graze across the flickering field of my TV screen again. My heart, made lighter than even your inheritance, beats louder than the Peach Pit After Dark at the news of your return.
Love,
Sam