I’m Not Feeling You

Buddy Bear, I’ll get behind you on a lot of stuff… the Clinton cabinet post, not kicking Joe Lieberman out of the caucus, not kicking Joe Lieberman if I ever get the chance, but Rick Warren? Come on man, this was supposed to be our special day.

I know, blah blah blah he does a lot of good stuff for AIDS and Poverty, or I guess against AIDS and Poverty, but also he hates gay people…

I was gonna maybe go down for the inaugeration but instead I’m going to donate the money I would have spent that weekend to People For the American Way’s Marriage Equality Campaign.

OK, half of what I would have spent… I’m broke.

I like that you told the RNC their Blagojevich/Obama attack ad was stupid, it’s your freakishly gigantic head I can’t get behind. Because if I did, then I wouldn’t be able to see the movie. Look at you. Look at you and your giant fucking head.

I hate it when I make snarky comments and they come true. Even if it’s obvious. Like I made this joke about the shoe throwing guy and Abu Ghraib and now his brother says he has a broken hand and isn’t looking so hot.

Here’s a great rule of thumb: nobody under indictment should ever be seen in public wearing a track suit.  Not under any circumstances. Like, if you must, jog in a tux. Honestly, one of those black and white striped Hambugler outfits and a big sack of cash would be less incriminating.

So you refuse to quit, huh? It’s really fucked up that you’re like the only person in the whole country that hasn’t been fired in the last couple of months. He and Trump should have a hair-off on pay-per-view and then at the end they can fire each other. Or something.