The one on the left is named, “Oh My God” and his friend to the right is, “I’m Gonna Fucking Barf.”
They don’t seem so bad… until you realize that they travel in swarms of thousands, devouring everything in their path. They don’t. But what if they did? Gross.
Still, it make me feel better about my intractable mouse problem. Like, at least I don’t have tiny monkeys.
One time i saw that commercial for Restless Leg Syndrome medicine, and now I have Restless Leg Syndrome, so thank you New Yorker Magazine, thank you for making me sleep with a helmet:
For M., certainly, it did: the itching was so torturous, and the area so numb, that her scratching began to go through the skin. At a later office visit, her doctor found a silver-dollar-size patch of scalp where skin had been replaced by scab. M. tried bandaging her head, wearing caps to bed. But her fingernails would always find a way to her flesh, especially while she slept.
One morning, after she was awakened by her bedside alarm, she sat up and, she recalled, “this fluid came down my face, this greenish liquid.” She pressed a square of gauze to her head and went to see her doctor again. M. showed the doctor the fluid on the dressing. The doctor looked closely at the wound. She shined a light on it and in M.’s eyes. Then she walked out of the room and called an ambulance. Only in the Emergency Department at Massachusetts General Hospital, after the doctors started swarming, and one told her she needed surgery now, did M. learn what had happened. She had scratched through her skull during the night—and all the way into her brain.
Some helicopters crashed yesterday in Arizona. It’s sad. Do you know what the percentage of helicopter flights don’t crash? It’s like 2%. You might as well commute by catapult.
So… yeah… it’s a 3 month old Mac Book and I don’t even want to talk about it. I have a genius bar appointment on Monday, pray for me friends.
Until then, the next few posts will be hilarious graphics free as all my photo shit is on my laptop.
Now even the guys you don’t want to hang out will be busy with their girlfriends. “Girlfriends” but still.