Here’s my impression of John McLaughlin and his wife reading in bed:
John McLaughlin: “Question! On a scale of 0 to 10–with 0 representing zero possibility and 10 representing metaphysical certitude–what is the chance of my getting a blow job.”
Sure you’re on track to win 8 gold medals, but what about your little friend there who doesn’t want to take his shirt off in front of the girls? How about a little sensitivity? Do you think Michael Phelps says “bro” a lot? He does.
According to the Facebook “Which Golden Girl Are You?” application, I’m a Sophia, so this hits especially close to home. I like to think that God needed someone especially hilarious to take a dump on Jesse Helms’s head every 20 minutes or so… Anyway, thank you for being a friend.
Oh Donna, don’t pretend you’re glad that she’s also on the new 90210 show. Man, fuck Shannen Doherty, and even more so, fuck Brenda. Also, can someone please explain what the hell happened to her teeth?
‘Cause how the hell else am I supposed to ‘research’ what Avatar: The Last Airbender is about at 2:45 in the morning?
Still, providing reasonably accurate free information to billions of people? Man, fuck wikipedia.