I know he won the Nobel Peace Price like 15 years ago, and he’s 90, and also, like the most adorable man in the world, but I just don’t trust that guy. Maybe we should give it just one more year.
Seriously, the Terrorism Watch List is like Osama bin Laden, Nelson Mandela, Cat Stevens, Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show, and the Soup Nazi. I think it’s time to consider revising.
My fey friends at feyfriends.com recently brought this to my attention.
Writing a blog about your cat in the first person voice of the cat is sad and weird. When that cat has no face it’s like serial killer deranged. Also, I’m pretty sure if that cat could really write a blog, every entry would just say, “kill me.” Not even because she has no face, but because she lives with people who give their cats haircuts. And blogs. Actually more ’cause she has no face.
Cat with no face must be stopped.
Some helicopters crashed yesterday in Arizona. It’s sad. Do you know what the percentage of helicopter flights don’t crash? It’s like 2%. You might as well commute by catapult.
God: Sooooooooooo… How do you feel about the Midwest?
Me: That’s where all our food comes from so we’d be pretty fucked without it, why?
God: No reason.