I’m Not Feeling You

She’s from Albany and she likes abortion and hunting…but then, who doesn’t?

My point is that there are a lot of people of in New York State and, maybe you didn’t realize it but you picked the most boring one. Maybe it’s not your fault, maybe she told you she has a baby arm growing out her head, but you shouldn’t have taken her word for it, you should have felt her head David Paterson, because she doesn’t have a baby arm growing out of her head and she’s really boring.

Ok, so here’s Gawker yesterday:

And here’s me two weeks ago:

Now I’m not saying Gawker is actually plagiarizing me… after all that picture is really really funny and the “secretary” joke is kind of obvious… I’m just saying I’m two weeks ahead, mine is funnier, they have a paid staff and I have a farting dog, so maybe it’s time to step your game up Team Gawker? Maybe hire some new writers? Like me.

So, if Hillary’s gonna be Secretary of State, then that means that Governor Paterson gets to appoint our next Senator. Paterson wasn’t elected either, so New York State will have the number of elected state-wide officials considered appropriate in… say, North Korea.

So who should it be?  Bill Clinton? State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo? US Congresswoman Kirsten Gillibrand? Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown? Tom from MySpace? Jay-Z? Call the Governor at 518-474-8390 and suggest something really crazy. He’ll appreciate it. I’m going with Alf.

What? Just cause she’s a lady she’s got to be a secretary? That’s sexist.