I’m Not Feeling You

I know he’s a politician. I know that, most likely, someday he’ll disappoint me. Still, to care and hope and believe enough to even be disappointed is something special in and of itself. Really, it’s enough.

Oh man, I love it when that hot mess tells him to wash out his ears. Interesting fact: Of all the original muppets designed by Jim Henson, Chris Mathews was the first to have ears.

I like how you said: “I love Joe Biden.”

I get it. you’re charming. When you talk I want to hang out, and then as soon as you stop I feel unclean and long to bathe.

Hey, you want to have a beer sometime…? Just kidding. I still hate you. Smarmy son of a bitch.

One thing that Cindy McCain can appreciate about dispossessed refugees is that, unlike some people, they know exactly how many houses they have.

If this is supposed to be the first post-boomer convention, how come it’s all Earth, Wind & Fire and Stevie Wonder all the time? It’s like they hired everyone I knew’s Bar Mitzvah DJ and my Aunt won’t stop dancing. Times like 15,000.