I’m Not Feeling You

“Thudguard has strategically placed ventilation holes to allow heat out but REMEMBER, wearing any headgear can become hot and uncomfortable after too long.”

I will remember that Thudguard. Thanks!

I like babies. Fuck, I probably even like your baby, but hipsterparentdouchebags, if parenthood changes everything how come you’re still intolerable? Also, stop dressing your baby like it’s in Interpol. It’s not and that’s child abuse.

God: Hey! Remember that time I killed a bunch of babies?

Me: Yeah…

God: Well it’s time to celebrate!

Me: This isn’t going to be another one of those things where my family gets together to scream is it?

God: Great! I’ll bring the shitty crackers!